5 Ways NOT to Approach Someone Through Facebook

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I’m going to share a few screen shots of what NOT to do on Facebook, based on interactions we’ve had lately.

You already know that you’ve got to build a relationship with another marketer before you ask them to buy your product, promote for you and so forth.


And Facebook can be a good place to connect with your fellow marketers, too. Heck, I’m always interested in building new relationships that offer something for BOTH of us.

But we’re getting a little frustrated with how some of the people are connecting with us.

For example:

Photo 1

Notice their reply when we ask how we can help them… nothing. They don’t have the slightest idea why they connected with us, who we are or anything relevant. I suspect we are simply another person to add to their list of people to make themselves look popular in the online world.

But what will happen if they ever figure out who we are, and they want us to promote for them or help them in some way?

We might give them same answer they gave us… nothing.

Photo 2

Same thing. They don’t have any idea why they’re connecting with us, and so why are they wasting our time and their time, too?

Photo 3

Okay, it’s true that we did ask what they do. Even so, this is not the time to launch into a sales pitch. We met each other online a few nano seconds ago… is anyone going to read that pitch and say, “WOW, this is what I’ve been looking for all my life?”

Still, it takes a certain amount of guts to tell a perfect stranger you’re in what sounds like a pyramid/mlm business, and that there are levels of commitment, with the top level being $2,000.


This is the point when 99.9% of people will RUN in the other direction.

We did.

Photo 4:

This is awkward at best. Again, they don’t know anything about us, but say that we have common interests and common friends. Uh-huh.

We share our website with them and they disappear for 9 months. When they resurface, they’re, “…asking like if you are in any need to tech developer for websites, software or apps.”

Okay, let’s say by some stroke of coincidence I do indeed need a developer today. Am I really going to entrust this complete stranger with my business?

They have done nothing (NOTHING!) to establish trust, credibility or authority. For all I know they are scammers with zero experience who are simply looking to rip me off.

Mind you, they could be the nicest, most honest and proficient developers on the entire internet. But how would I know that?

Photo 5:

These are my favorite (notice my sarcasm, please). The first contact with this person ever is the old, “I have a SUPER UNIQUE PRODUCT and will you PROMOTE IT FOR ME on the 10th?”

I don’t know this person. I don’t believe his product is ‘super unique’. I cannot believe he is not only asking me, a total stranger, to promote his product, but he’s also giving me just one week’s notice before his launch?” Marketers plan out their promotions weeks and usually months in advance.

Hey, his product involves an email list, blog, podcast and membership site and it’s ‘super unique’. That one actually made me laugh out loud.

Here’s the clincher: Maybe, if he had built a relationship with us BEFORE he asked us to promote, and maybe if he really does have a good product, then maybe we would have promoted for him.

But we’ll never know.

How are you approaching people on Facebook? Here’s a few suggestions on how to make new friends, both personally and professionally:

  • Be yourself or an even better version of yourself. Don’t always be selling and do talk about things beyond your business.
  • Connect with people using this 3 part formula: Agree or disagree with their point, give your own opinion and then ask a question.
  • Don’t be boring. Don’t repeat yourself endlessly and vary everything you do on Facebook.
  • Join and participate in Groups.
  • Connect with someone before friending them.
  • Start a Fan page. Post articles there, interact, ask questions and make new friends.
  • Find things in common and use those things to start conversations.
  • When people accept your request to be friends or request to be your friend, add them to relevant lists. This makes it easier to invite specific people to events and pages as well as contacting them as a group.
  • Be a person worth knowing.

Facebook is a great place to make new connections when you remember one simple rule: Be a genuine person who sincerely cares about others.

Rushed for time? CLICK HERE to download
this post as PDF to read at your leisure


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